Getting the Show on the Road – Planets 4 Sale-Episode 5
No time to lose! Fiction. 2200 words, 11-minute read.
Time for McGee to beat feet.
The whole unfolding Planets 4 Sale saga can be found here: https://raytabler.substack.com/s/planets-4-sale-serial
Start here (1st Contact - Episode 1, Part 1): https://raytabler.substack.com/p/1st-contact-planets-4-sale-episode
Previous episode: No Human Need Apply https://raytabler.substack.com/p/no-human-need-apply-planets-4-sale
Next up: Episode 6 – Old Flame New Leaf.
Getting the Show on the Road – Planets 4 Sale-Episode 5
By Ray Tabler
Mitch and Eddie sprawled on the floating couch in the apartment, playing a hologame. They blazed away at giant monsters in a pink, desert planet landscape.
The door slammed aside, and McGee burst in. “Shut off that boob tube, boys. It's our lucky day!”
Mitch didn’t look away from the monster he was hosing with virtual baster fire. “Huh?”
Eddie was marginally more attentive. “Wha?”
McGee slapped the off switch on the holo unit. The monsters faded from view.
“Hey! I had a record score.” Mitch protested.
“Did not!” Eddie corrected.
“Never mind that now, boys. Our ship has come in, and we're all going on a real adventure!”
Mitch and Eddie look at each other, not visibly excited.
“Boys, I have secured funding, and we are in business. Soon as Pradeep can get the ship fixed up, we'll be blowing this strait jacket of a planet for the frontier...Where's Pradeep, anyway?”
“Uh, he's down at the junkyard.”
“Shipyard, Eddie, shipyard. We'll have customers soon, and we don't want to give them the wrong idea about our operation with negative terminology.”
“Okay, Mr. McGee. He's down at the shipyard.”
“Great. That's where I'm headed now. Pack up your stuff, and hightail it down to the shipyard. We gotta get outta here, before anybody thinks to review the recording of what happened in front of that Ministry building today.”
“What?”
“Oh, nothing. Just grab everything and get down there, boys.”
McGee swept out of the apartment. Mitch and Eddie stared at the closed door, momentarily stunned at the sudden turn of events.
“Oh boy.” Eddie did not sound more terrified than thrilled.
***
It was a junkyard. But it was a junkyard piled and littered with a seemingly endless supply of advanced alien machinery and technology, more-or-less free for the taking. To a genius and mechanically-gifted scientist like Pradeep, the place was very close to heaven on Earth. Or, rather, on Malzooza, as Earth was some number of light years away.
The only dark cloud in Pradeep’s blue sky of tinkering with the surrounding wealth of alien devices was McGee and his constant nagging to get the nearby derelict starship space worthy again. Not that that wasn’t a fascinating task. But there was so much else to explore right here.
Pradeep stood at an open electronics panel on the side of a mobile interstellar transit gate (about the size of a city bus). The gate sat on the ground at the foot of the ramp of a rusty, old starship. All about large pieces of futuristic junk and vehicles stretched as far as the eye could see.
McGee rounded the corner of a half-disassembled industrial machine of unknown purpose. “Pradeep, my man! Hard at work, just as I knew you would be.”
“McGee, what do you want now? I told you we can't proceed any farther until you get the money for the deposit on the ship.”
“Have you checked our account lately?”
Pradeep eyed McGee skeptically, then fiddled with his belt computer. His brow furrowed in suspicion. “Did you steal this money?”
“No, of course not. Not this time.”
Pradeep still appeared unconvinced.
“Look, I met some, uh, silent partners. Very silent. How 'bout we get this show on the road before their, uh, associates get suspicious?”
“I'm so desperate I'm not even going to ask.” He sighed, and closed the access panel he had open on the gate mechanism. “Well, your timing is good. I just got this thing hooked up to the network this morning.” Pradeep flipped a power switch. “It'll take a minute to boot up.”
The gate emitted the sounds of relays clunking, and a low-frequency hum that seemed to be felt more than heard. Presently, a swirling disk formed above the transit platform, turning silvery and rippling slightly.
“Impressive.” McGee was clearly in a good mood, bordering on manic.
“I have to do a transit test yet.”
Just then, a couple of humanoid aliens in tourist attire stepped through the transit disk. They stopped after a few strides, and looked around puzzled.
“This doesn't look like the beach.” The female humanoid commented in a tone which implied she’d been expecting something to go wrong.
“Hey, which way to the baggage claim?” The male humanoid demanded of McGee.
McGee pointed off into the vast maze of the junkyard. “That way. About a kilometer. Keep walking. Can't miss it.”
The humanoids looked dubious but headed in the direction McGee indicated.
The female humanoid frowned at the tall piles of junk. “Are those trash collection robots on strike again?”
“What was that all about?” McGee asked once the tourists were out of earshot.
“I had to use a code from a transit hub on the coast to get this thing on the network. Guess that constitutes a successful test.”
“Glad to hear it. Lady luck is with us today. But, better shut it down before rush hour starts.”
Pradeep nodded and knocked the power switch to off. The gate’s hum faded and the transit disk dissipated.
“Hey, here are the boys, right on time.” McGee waved to Mitch and Eddie running along a canyon of derelict alien machinery. Alien junkyard dogs chased the pair, nipping at the pieces of anti-grav luggage towed behind.
McGee drove the junkyard dogs off with well-aimed bits of piping and stones, bounced off the creatures. The predators run away, yelping. Mitch and Eddie bent over, hands on knees, panting from the run. Pradeep ignored the affair, fiddling with the gate mechanism.
“Those dog things weren’t the only trouble we had.” Mitch wheezed.
“The landlady chased us for three blocks!” Eddie continued. “Who knew she could move so fast?”
“Well, she provides her own lubrication with that slime layer she exudes.”
“Eww!” Both nerds chorus their disgust.
“Once you two catch your breath, stow all of our equipment and supplies on the ship.” McGee hooked a thumb up the open ramp to the ship’s cargo hold. “Pradeep, ol’ buddy, how fast can we be ready blast off?”
“The vessel lifts on gravity repellers. There’s no blasting involved.” Pradeep scowled at the scattered pallets of gear. “I’ll be ready to go before you get all of this junk loaded, even having to warm up the engines.”
“You hear that, boys? Sounds like a race to me.” Mitch and Eddie almost looked like they would rather go play with the doggies again. McGee rubbed his hands together. “Rev her up, Pradeep. We’ll take care of this end.”
McGee, Mitch, and Eddie set to loading the ship with various unidentifiable gear and domestic items. Eventually, only the city-bus-sized gate unit was left. Mitch drove an antigrav fork truck to load gate into cargo bay. McGee guided the move with indecipherable hand signals. Mitch appeared confused but kept slowly backing the gate up the ramp.
“'Mon back. 'Mon back. 'Mon back.” McGee confidently directed operations, from the narrow space between the unit and the cargo door. Eddie watched the gap between the forward end of the unit and the cargo hold wall with gradually growing alarm.
The gate unit slowly crashed into far wall of cargo bay with a screech of metal.
“That's good. Drop her right there.” McGee commanded.
Pradeep poked his head through an open hatch high up on the wall of the cargo bay. “What was that horrible noise?”
McGee casually sidled over to block Pradeep’s view of the impact site. “Uh, nothing, Pradeep. Musta been a sonic boom.”
Pradeep looked doubtful, but disappeared back through the hatchway.
Mitch and Eddie approach hesitantly as McGee eyed a big dent in the cargo bay wall.
Mitch rubbed a worried hand through his hair. “Oh crap! I broke the ship.”
“Don't sweat it, kid.” McGee reassured. “They built these old tubs tough. Take more than a little fender bender to derail us.” McGee banged a fist on the wall above the dent. The wall rattled disconcertingly. All three pairs of eyes widened as the metal wall wobbled.
“Uh, what's on the other side of this wall?” McGee gently poked a finger at the dent.
Eddie gulped. “I think it's the engine room, or maybe life support.”
“Oh. Maybe I'll go have a look. See if everything's okay.” McGee said. Then he stopped, and looked at the open cargo ramp. “You boys hear something?”
Eddie tilted his head. “Sounds like...sirens.”
“Sirens!” McGee squeaked. “Uh, ya know what? It's probably fine. I'll look once we're in orbit. Or in hyperspace. Close that ramp, and come on up to the bridge, boys. We're leaving, right darn now.”
“But, Mr. McGee, there's still some stuff we haven't loaded yet.”
McGee called over his shoulder climbing the ladder to the forward part of the ship. “Leave it! Too much weight. Shake a leg boys.“
McGee ducked through an interior hatchway. The sound of sirens was definitely getting louder. Mitch and Eddie looked at each other and scrambled to close the cargo ramp hatch.
Pradeep was seated at the controls when McGee burst in.
“Time to blast off, Pradeep!”
“Wouldn't have anything to do with those sirens I hear approaching, would it?”
“Do you really want to stick around and find out?”
“No.”
“Me neither.”
Pradeep flipped switches and pushed buttons. The ship rumbled and shook.
Mitch and Eddie piled onto the bridge and tried to strap into the same acceleration couch at the same time. They fought each other briefly before one was shoved to another couch.
A warning light flashed on the control panel, and an alarm sounded.
“What the devil's that about?” McGee asked as he craned his neck, trying to catch site of approaching authorities while still strapped into an acceleration couch.
“Hull integrity alarm.” Pradeep frowned at the blinking light.
“Oh, I broke the ship!” Mitch wailed.
Pradeep blinked at Mitch. “What?” The alarm stopped and the troubling light went out. “Says a hatch was open. But, it's fine now. Apparently.”
McGee could definitely see blinking lights reflecting off distant piles of junk. “Great! Must've just been a glitch. Now, let's get the heck outta here before something else go sideways.”
“Brace for acceleration.” Pradeep warned.
As Pradeep worked the controls the ship rocked and shot skyward. The sudden speed pushed the humans deep into their couches. The junkyard fell away, and disappeared from the viewports.
The radio speaker crackled to life. “This is Malzooza Traffic Control. Unidentified vessel, you are not cleared for launch.”
“Don't you dare answer that, Pradeep!” McGee commanded.
“That's a violation of regulations.”
“I don't care. Just get into orbit, and go into hyperspace as fast as possible.”
“If we do that too close to the gravity well, we could drift way off course.”
“Wherever we end up is going to be better than what's waiting for us back on the ground.”
Pradeep, Mitch, and Eddie all three stared at McGee in shock.
“Oh gee! We're criminals.” Eddie gasped.
“I should've never left Delhi.”
“Unidentified vessel, land immediately at the following coordinates...”
The coordinates were drowned out by the increased rumbling and shaking as the ship plowed through the atmosphere.
Pradeep must’ve decided that whatever authorities were after them wouldn’t believe his protestations of innocence. “Going hyper!” Pradeep smacked a large red button, and the blue/black sky out the viewports smeared into psychedelic streaks, before settling down into a featureless gray. “Well, we should be safe enough for now. Although we probably just broke every window in a hundred-kilometer radius.”
“Oh man!” Mitch realized he was in more trouble than a dent in a bulkhead.
McGee took his hat off and mopped his brow with a handkerchief. “Whew! That was close.”
“McGee, why are we now apparently fugitives?” Pradeep shook an angry finger.
“I'll explain later. It's all a big misunderstanding. Has to do with a traffic accident and some robots.” All three of his shipmates are staring at McGee. “It's complicated.”
“What about you isn't complicated, McGee?” Pradeep crossed his arms.
“Look, we didn't do anything wrong. Well, not anything too wrong. Nothing more wrong than usual. But, if we stuck around, I got the feeling that some busybody would find a reason to keep us from taking off.”
McGee unbuckled and stood up. The others unbuckled as well, still looking unconvinced.
“The point is, boys, we're on our way. We've got a ship. We've got a plan. And nothing is gonna stop us now.”
The hatchway slammed open. McGee and crew looked aft in surprise.
The ugly, scorched muzzle of a blaster poked through the hatchway, followed by the shapely, human female who wielded the weapon.
“Saint Sophia on a pogo stick!” McGee hands shot into the air.
“Hello, McGee. Going somewhere?” The woman asked in a sexy, husky, Slavic-accented voice, blaster aimed squarely at McGee’s mid-section.
Pradeep, Mitch, and Eddie tried to crowd behind McGee for shelter.
Hands still up and eyes on the woman, McGee assured his crew out the side of his mouth. “Don't worry, boys. I got everything under control.”
END of Episode 5.
Tune in next time, when McGee’s past comes back to haunt him.
The whole unfolding Planets 4 Sale saga can be found here: https://raytabler.substack.com/s/planets-4-sale-serial
Start here (1st Contact - Episode 1, Part 1): https://raytabler.substack.com/p/1st-contact-planets-4-sale-episode
Previous episode: No Human Need Apply https://raytabler.substack.com/p/no-human-need-apply-planets-4-sale
Next up: Episode 6 – Old Flame New Leaf.
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Ray,
McGee is the consumat "Flim-Flam" man! Believe and trust nothing that comes out of this guy's mouth!
Entertaining as always. Looking forward to seeing where you take this and where they land next.