Rorschach Santa
Naughty, naughty. Essay. 1000 words, 5-minute read.
Rorschach Santa
By Ray Tabler
Barely through the gates of summer, and I’m writing an essay about Santa Claus. Can’t figure that out either. But ideas pop up when they want to, without consulting me first. Here we go.
Caught the tail end of the Mel Gibson movie Fatman on cable the other day. This is a film I was only peripherally aware of when it premiered in 2020, and promptly forgot all about since. It’s not a bad flick. The premise is a spoiled and nasty rich kid gets a lump of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning, and is upset enough to hire a hitman. He wants Santa’s head, literally. Walton Goggins plays the psychotic assassin, and that alone makes Fatman worth a watch.
Fatman is violent and bloody, with a high body count, not exactly what you’d expect from a Christmas movie. Still, it’s funny in a strange way. Once you get used to all the blood-spattered snow. I suspect that the absurdist humor was strongly influenced by Monty Python, retooled for the American market.
Fatman also made me think about how Kris Kringle has been portrayed in movies and TV shows over the years. Since Santa is well into the public domain, he’s fair game. There are so many movies and TV shows with ol’ St. Nick in them. So many. I couldn’t even find an exhaustive list, but I did gather enough examples to draw some conclusions. Santa is a vessel, into which writers can pour whatever themes and messages are desired. And, boy howdy, have they ever.
Not that using a well-known work or character as a Trojan horse to slip opinions past the spam filters is all that new. Paul Verhoeven hijacked Starship Troopers to present a fairly militant message of antimilitarism. Mel Brooks used Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, and Men in Tights to poke fun at monster movies, westerns, and the Robin Hood complex. Pro tip, comedy seems to work much better than heavy-handed preaching in this respect. Just sayin’.
Santa appears to be a work horse in terms of messaging. A dead giveaway is how the old gent has changed over the years. In the original 1823 poem, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Santa “…had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly…” In 1947’s Miracle on 34th Street, Kris is still a mysterious, but benevolent figure.
But the times didn’t leave Santa alone to concentrate on keeping his list and the annual logistical challenge of visiting every chimney around the globe in one night. Come the 1960s, the world demanded more. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) was a silly, little kids movie, but it was a crack in the wall. Santa was dragged into interplanetary war. Then, Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer (also 1964) introduced us to bigotry and occupational angst at the north pole workshop. Santa became stressed-out upper management.
Rankin/Bass expanded the Santa Cinematic Universe throughout the 1970s and into the 1980s. The jolly old elf was battling various villains, like the Burgermeister Meisterburger, Jack Frost, Aeon the Terrible, and an evil rabbit named Irontail. Although still portrayed as a jolly, kind figure, Santa had been drafted into the role of something approaching an Ur social justice warrior. Whether you agree with those politics or not, it’s a marked change from an earlier distant neutrality.
In 1994, Disney’s The Santa Clause imagined Kris as merely a replaceable job holder. The interview consists of bumping off the previous Santa. Then, by the fine print of the employment contract, the new hire is required to gain weight and wield magical powers. Oh, and the north pole operation is supernaturally industrialized, with a stand-by team of special ops elves for commando raids. More movies in the series. More current events addressed: divorce, blended families, job satisfaction, labor disputes, the threat of automation.
The Polar Express (2004) has Santa displaying an unsuspected expertise in disguises, and running his own railroad. There are the by-now obligatory sub-plots around overcoming racial prejudice, and dealing with childhood drama. Kris can’t appear on screen without doing some heavy moral lifting. Never let a beloved folk figure go to waste.
Pucca (2006-2008) is a South Korean animated series about a remote mountain village, populated by ninjas. As odd as that premise sounds, Santa Claus is also a resident and recurring minor character in the show. Santa often suffers collateral damage during battles between the main character ninjas, in a manner similar to Kenny in the South Park show. Not sure what to think about that. Give Pucca a try, though. It’s one of those cartoons which entertain kids with slapstick, while simultaneously providing a steady stream of stealth adult humor the youngins don’t suspect is there.
Which brings up to the modern era. Which I think of as the “Angry Santa” years. Fatman, discussed above, Violent Night (2022), and Red One (2024) all paint a vengeful, direct-action side of Kris Kringle. And that paint is always blood red. To be fair, Santa’s almost always driven to violence. But, once there, the old dude is scary. In Fatman, Kris keeps a box of loaded weapons under his bed. Violent Night’s Santa is an immortal reformed Viking warrior, who reverts to a berserk rage without much trouble. It’s like riding a bicycle. You never forget. In Red One, Santa’s minions are the trigger pullers. But the vibe is similar.
The current consensus is that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, so we can sculpt the legend however we wish. (Not me, Kris. I believe in you. Don’t put me on the naughty list.) The result reveals more about the times than it damages the concept of a magical dude bending time and space to deliver toys to every kid in one night. Santa Claus is a Rorschach test. He’s a mirror useful to see aspects of ourselves we don’t want to admit are there. Understand that writers and film makers are simply relating what they see in that mirror. Think of it as a form of therapy for which they (sometimes) get paid. That way, you can watch or read without getting bent out of shape.
END.
PS: In all of these movies and shows, the kids on the naughty list are always getting lumps of coal in their stockings. Where I grew up, bad behavior was punished by a bundle of switches Christmas morning. Was it coal or switches as negative reinforcement for you growing up?
Shameless Self-Promotion Section:
Check out my novels at Histria Books https://histriabooks.com/product-tag/ray-tabler/ and on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/stores/Ray-Tabler/author/B09H62RZB9
The Diesel-Powered Starship (due for release in September 2025) https://histriabooks.com/product/the-diesel-powered-starship/
A Grand Imperial War (Book 1 of the Grand Imperial series) https://histriabooks.com/product/a-grand-imperial-war-grand-imperial-series-book-1/
A Grand Imperial Heir (Sequel to A Grand Imperial War) https://histriabooks.com/product/a-grand-imperial-heir-grand-imperial-series-book-2/
Fool’s Paradise https://histriabooks.com/product/fools-paradise/
And visit my website https://raytabler.com/ for Science Fiction You Can Enjoy!
Saint Nicholas did, allegedly, deck the heretic Arius at the Council of Nicaea, so there's a solid historical/theological precedent for Santa as ass-kicker.
"The premise is a spoiled and nasty rich kid gets a lump of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning, and is upset enough to hire a hitman."
Similar to the premise of the Christmas special of a favorite TV series of mine. In this case, the nasty rich kid tries to hire the robot protagonist of the show to do the deed; she refuses. Then he hotwires her to make her do it...